I have a heavy heart this morning. I feel like I've been hit in the face with a brick.
Yesterday, at one point, I remember mentally lamenting that I wish I looked better in a bathing suit, cause my new friends all seem to have the cutest little bodies, and I was also bummed that my hydrangeas haven't produced more mopheads because I really want to cut some and bring them inside, but then there won't be any left in the garden, and I am annoyed because my dog is shedding like crazy and so I have to sweep several times a day... Hmmm. Okay, that's it. THAT is how AMAZINGLY GREAT my life is. Those were the ONLY things I could think of to even remotely complain about for the day.
But while I'm over here living this damned-near-perfect life, I just found out that one of my friend's mothers died after suffering many years with Alzheimer's. My friend has now lost both parents in the past few months. And my other friend is currently on a humanitarian trip in the Dominican Republic, taking photographs of naked babies sleeping in the streets and little children playing in the village dump. Another friend just told us that he's leaving his wife because she's an alcoholic who refuses to change her ways. And yet another, an old family friend, is battling breast cancer.
Friends all around us are suffering. They're losing jobs and losing homes and their marriages are crumbling. It is so incredibly sad.
My cousin's husband played "Blackbird" on his guitar Sunday at a funeral for an 8-month-old boy who could not win his battle against disease.
I follow blogs of several women who bare their souls and their stories of infertility and of losing children. I know many mothers coping with children with special needs.
And in the news, just today, more details about the horrific fire at a daycare in Mexico that killed at least 38 children and about how the parents tried to ram their cars into the side of the building to free the children.
And then, of course, there's the Air France crash that is still being investigated. That's another 228 victims... and that means thousands of people mourning for them, wondering if the bodies will ever be found.
There are people shooting each other at schools and resorts and in the on-going war. People are committing suicide and beating their children.
I recently watched "Slumdog Millionaire" and saw the hideous things done to children in other countries... the abuse and slavery and prostitution and torture of these innocent souls.
It's really just too much to handle.
It makes me incredibly sad and sick to my stomach. It makes me want to get up off this couch and DO something about it. But it also makes me feel helpless, like the problems are so much bigger than I am, and so the magnitude of it all just paralyzes me and I have no earthly idea where I'd even start.
And all the while, while all this heartache and trauma and tragedy is swirling around me, I sit here in my office and daydream of Ireland and castles and pubs and a cold Guinness with my adorable husband. I daydream about my son winning his first baseball championship trophy tonight and I gaze at my daughter and think about how gorgeous she looks with her fresh tan and glistening golden hair. I think about how nice the air-conditioning feels on this hot summer day and wonder what I should fix myself for lunch.
Is it fair? No. It is not fair.
Is it okay for me to still bask in the glow of my own personal life? And how do I do that without feeling guilty?
What can I do to help? Where do I even start?
I am completely open to any and all suggestions.
If you've made it this far in this post, thank you for listening.
6 comments:
Quit watching the news. They only report the bad stuff. There's plenty good out there; you just don't hear about it. My motto: "I get all the news I need on the weather report". That's because, like you, I empathize way too much. Old saying: 'I ask not the wounded person how they feel. I myself become that wounded person and their hurts lie heavy upon me.' That may not be an exact quote, but close enough. Stacy, we are gentle souls. If we lived in 'olden times', we'd probably be in a convent to shelter ourselves from the ravages of the world. Well, thank goodness we don't have to do that today. We CAN deal with it, but it takes a lot of denial and soul searching. Besides, I look terrible in black. Smile, Sweetie: it's the best antidote. And count your blessings as I know you do.
yep, you hit the pulse of the world pretty right on. Every day I tell my students and my kids in some way that we are lucky to have born in America because we do lead charmed lives compared to the other suffering people that we can not even imagine what they go through. We are healthy which is unlike many people suffering afflictions. We are smart and motivated which is not like people who have become depressed because they have lost their jobs or family members and the the list goes on. My words to you are to be humble and to impart good values on your kids like you already do. Count your blessings and do what you can for others! Thanks for a very thought provoking post. And... have a kickin time in Ireland!
What a great post ... I do believe it's time for many people to do something, to wake up ... it may be something small, but there is always something you can do to help out someone ... somewhere ... find a way to help andyou will feel so blessed in return.
Wow! from OKC! I was counting your summary. 123 posts. That kind of seems like a collection of essays, or a book, or something.
Love you, J
Stacy, you do something that makes everyone smile, which brightens the world a little bit. Your blog is enjoyed by many, your photos by even more. Trust me, you ARE doing your part. Steve & Renee Pease
Girl, I am not super religious, but as I told Emma the other night when she was having a hard time with scary thoughts - pray. I just always think that we are not in control and sometimes there really is nothing we can do, but pray that peace and hope will come to those in need.
I love to pray. I don't set aside a time like they tell you in church - but God just hears from me like He's my girlfriend. I decided long ago not to make him that big feared one, but my friend.
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