"I WORRY"

     Those of you who know me know I'm a worrier by nature. Always have been. Here's proof in the form of a short creative writing piece I did when I was 9 years old. 

     I am pleased to say my father never had to go to war, my house hasn't caught on fire, I didn't flunk school (although that's a bit of a shocker considering my apparent spelling skillz), the sun hasn't  snuffed out and I haven't lost a limb or been bit in the face by a snake... so I think I'm doin pretty good!
     So while I wait for a phone call today to get more pathology results, you might be wondering, am I worried now? About this whole cancer thing? Sure. But probably NOT about this things you'd THINK I might be worried about... like dying (nope, no part of me feels like I've been handed a death sentence. In fact, the radiologist said that the way things are these days, breast cancer is more of "just a 3 - 6 month inconvenience than anything." Okay cool. I'm down with that.) Nah, I'm worried about this "inconvenience" getting in the way of my gym time and losing the first six pack I've ever had in my life. I'm worried about them telling me to lay off the sauce (ha!). I'm worried about this interfering with our plans to go to Amsterdam in June. I'm worried about who will sweep the dog hair out of the house twice a day if I feel too shitty to do it. But in all seriousness... yeah, I'll admit, at this point, I'm just mostly worried about wondering what all they're about to do to my body and what I'm going to have to endure. I know every story is different. Who knows if there will be surgery or radiation or chemo or reconstruction. I don't know. And I HATE not knowing. I've already received messages (all well-meaning, I know!!) from people saying they'd come hold my hair back while I puked or saying how cute I'd look with a really short hair do or asking how big of boobs I'll get if I get new ones... WOW... nope... haven't gone there yet people! HA HA. Right now, while I wait, I'm just going to continue to run and go to boot camp and enjoy every day I feel great (I went for a run yesterday and felt amazing and the whole time kept thinking, "I don't FEEL sick and I sure as hell don't LOOK like a sick person") and am going to hope that MY story gets to be one of the "easy" ones, like my friend whose sister found her breast cancer so early that it was Stage 0 and required no surgery or chemo or new boobs.
     The good news is, despite me being a worrier, I'm also definitely a Glass Half Full kind of girl and those of you who know my life story know that I don't stay down long. I'm like one of those inflatable toy punching bags you had as a kid that sometimes had a creepy clown painted on it and you'd punch it but it would pop right back up, still smiling. That's me. We got this.