Day Two. Enough Already!

Seriously people, HOW DO YOU DO IT? Those of you who live in really cold places... WHY? Cold is for penguins. And popsicles. And beer. Igloos, sure. Not people. 

It's another frozen day here... and yeah, it's pretty to look at, through the window, but geez Louise, do I really have to go OUT there? Unless I'm skiing, I just pretty much don't like to be cold. My blood is in shock. I'm ready for some good ol' Texas HOT weather baby! Bring it on! 

And those of you who live in those absurdly cold places... feel free to come visit any time you feel the need to thaw out a bit. 

Have a great day and stay warm! 

Got ice?

We do! Lots of it too!
The trees are happy to finally be shedding their heavy burden as the ice is beginning to melt. It's quite beautiful outside, albeit still extremely cold, wet and slushy. 

It looks as if there are a million diamonds falling from the trees right now... from trees with branches that seem to be made of glass, shining brightly in the sun. Beautiful. If I thought I could do the landscape justice with my camera, and truly capture it, I'd venture back outside, but I am not sure if photos would reflect the true beauty, so I'm choosing to stay in, stay warm and enjoy the scene through the window. I think my dog shares my sentiment. 

Slow News Day...

Ahhh, another day where I just can't seem to think of something to blog about, althouth I have a few ideas brewing.

So on this slow news day, I'll post some snapshots I took of Jasper and Roxie a few moments ago, just to let you know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. We were attempting a shot of the two of them together, but anytime Jasper would get near Roxie, she'd go on Hyper Lick Mode. She can't help herself. That girl loves to lick people. Big slobbery wet licks right on the kisser... that's her favorite attack. :) It makes Jasper giggle like mad, and Roxie KNOWS this and loves it. 

Just a Spoon Full of Sugar, Please.

Cover your eyes Anne Shirley. You don't want to see this! It could get ugly. 

May I ask, when did our nation get to be so dang rude? I mean, seriously... some people are JUST SO RUDE. 

Lately my daughter and I have been watching some old timey TV series... like "Little House on the Prairie," "Anne of Green Gables," and "The House of Elliot," a fantastic BBC production about a quirky photographer and two sisters trying to launch their own fashion house in London. 

I love shows set in the late 1800s and early 1900s. They seems so fanciful and dreamy and romantic and I always tell John I think I would've loved to have lived during this time period... until he reminds me I'd have to give up my beloved laptop, iPod, scalding-hot showers, electric blanket, Photoshop, and the list goes on. Hmmm. On second thought... 

But really, what I mean is I just ADORE how people used to treat each other and talk to one another. People were just more proper. They were concerned about manners and appearances and reputations. It was simply unacceptable to use foul language or to talk back to your elders. Women acted like ladies and men acted like gentlemen. Kids in classrooms respected and feared their teachers. Kids said "Yes Ma'am" to their mothers. People had tea together. And boys certainly did not run around with their pants barely hanging on and underwear sticking out. 

Now please don't get me wrong. I'm far from perfect and I'm not saying I'm all high and mighty in the manners and etiquette departments. I am certainly no Pollyanna or Emily Post and my mother in law still cringes because I have to concentrate very hard to remember how to properly set a table. But I do so desperately wish we could get BACK to the way things were... just a little. 

Even my best friend in Canada teases us Americans. For example, if we don't understand someone, we yell back, "What?!" But in Canada, they say, "Pardon?" See... simple nuances. 

I just wish more gentlemen would still open doors for women weighted down with hands full of groceries and dozing toddlers. I wish people wouldn't have intimate cell phone conversations in the grocery store line. I wish more kids would say "Yes, please" and "No, thank you" (two things I started teaching my children in the womb). I wish (Oh how I wish!) more people would chew with their mouths closed. I wish teenagers wouldn't be allowed to text or play DS at the table in a nice restaurant. And when did it become a crime to say hello to passersby on the street? 

We need Mary Poppins to come work a little magic on us! 

All it takes is courtesy and perhaps a smile people. Are we all so busy and grouchy and stressed that we can't even smile and wave at each other anymore? 

Okay, so granted, I probably wouldn't enjoy wearing a proper dress (No jeans?! The horror!) every single day and I certainly don't want to have to go down to the creek to wash that dress... but can't we all just try to act a teensy bit old fashioned and put a little effort back into being polite and proper and respectful? Our children are watching us and they're taking notes...

Yes, I daresay we could all stand an extra dose of nice these days. Don't you?  

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

Remember Sally Fields accepting her Oscar for best actress in "Places in the Heart?" That's what she said... "You like me, you really like me!" Ha. Love that! 

That's how I feel when I look at my blog following. A little shocked, and a little giddy. Gosh, it's truly humbling. 

I never thought anyone would really care about my blog. I pretty much do it for myself... a little creative outlet, not as serious as a diary, but simply a place to put down some random thoughts that are constantly knocking around inside my head. 

But wow... I want to thank all of you for reading! Makes me feel great. Here's a map of my followers... you know who you are... THANK YOU! You guys just keep stroking my ego and I'll just keep blogging!! Deal? 

(Double click on map to enlarge and see if you can find yourself!!)

A Story, by Jasper, age 7

Once upon a time, a farmer taught his ducks how to dance. 

Now he hears "tip tap, click clack!" just about every second. 

So he taught them how to juggle. 

Now he hears "crash bam, bang wham!" just about every second. 

So he taught them how to write. 

Now he hears "scritch scratch, crumble crumble" just about every second. 

So he taught them how to be quiet. 

Now he is happy. 

Oh. Dear. God. Dread Thirteen.

I'm not entirely sure, but I think I had a mini heart attack this morning. 

Okay, so maybe that's an exaggeration, but I do know SOMETHING unpleasant happened inside me. 

Here's the deal. I decided yesterday to send an email to my 13-year-old niece. She's a great, smart, funny kid with a bubbly personality. She has no brothers or sisters, so I have always tried to make an effort to be close to her... to be that cool aunt she could always come to in a crisis or to share secrets with or to take her to get her ears pierced when Mom said no. You know. We all need an aunt like that. 

So back to the email. I realize kids these days don't talk on the phone. They text and email. I'm fine with that. Whatever. So I email her. 

This morning I woke up to find a reply in my inbox. I was excited, especially seeing it was a long reply! YAY... COMMUNICATION! 

Upon reading the first two paragraphs, however, my heart started to feel queer inside my chest. Was I having a heart attack? Or maybe just a panic attack? Oh God. What's happening? 

My mom always tells me to "DREAD 13." Kinda her catch phrase these days. And my niece is a GOOD teenager... doesn't cause trouble, makes straight As, plays the flute... but she's STILL a teenager and well, we all know, teenagers are weird! 

Sorry, back to this email again... in this day and age where all kids do is text back and forth all day for hours on end, it's "cool" (oh, I'm sorry, I should say "kul") to use their version of shorthand (kwim? LOL!) and NO punctuation or capitalization... and I "get" that. Again, whatever. Just trying to save time.

But what KILLS me is how it's obviously cool to PURPOSEFULLY misspell as many words as possible!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. Ouch... there goes my heart again. 

Please understand, I graduated Magna Cum Laude with a major in Broadcast Journalism and a minor in Communications. I care. I care a lot. About grammar. And punctuation. And NOT ending sentences with a preposition. 

When I'm blogging or emailing or just chatting with friends, I try to loosen up and be casual about it, allowing for some run on sentences, dangling participles and such, but it STILL bothers me... and it's damned near impossible for me to resist correcting people (including my husband who almost ALWAYS gets the use of "I" and "me" backwards!). 

But this latest email was just SO completely disturbing on SO many levels. It's not that it was poorly written with a few careless spelling errors... but that it was DELIBERATELY written poorly! No caps, strange punctuation with little smiley faces throughout and the worst part... the crazy spelling. For example, did you know that in the teenage world itz kul to spell stuff with a "z" anywhere an "s" iz suppozed 2B? LOL. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. My heart can't take it!

It disturbs me because these kids are our FUTURE. They are our future TEACHERS and LEADERS. And parents. And journalists?! 

Scary thought isn't it? 

This isn't even the "big teenager stuff" like dating and sex and drugs and drunk driving. It's just in that petty subcategory alongside wearing too much eyeliner, turning up the music too loud and eye rolling. 

But it also disturbs me because maybe today I feel old... older than I did yesterday. I'm obviously NOT the cool, hip aunt I thought I was. Darnit. I read the Twilight books and saw the movie. I listen to the latest music. I even still wear some jeans with holes in the knees and know how to use iTunes without the manual, but I guess it's not enough.

I tried, but failed. 

Well, for now I'll just have to take solace in the fact that I don't yet have a teenager to call my very own. Lucky me. I still have three years. Thank you God. I'm not ready. I'm reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally not ready. 

And I will TRY to swallow my panic and true feelings about this new writing phenomenon and just at least be happy that my 13-year-old niece is still inherently a good kid and will still even "talk" to me. That's good. It's a start. 

Itz kul, kwim? 

Now THAT is what I call a nail biter!!!

Oh boy. I'm exhausted. 

I bit off three fingernails and got a new gray hair today between 3:08 and 3:12 p.m. 

Why, you ask? Well, does TRIPLE OVERTIME mean anything to you? Ha ha ha!

Yes, the Melissa Cardinals 2nd grade boys' basketball team went into TRIPLE overtime tonight, with a three-time shoot off against the opposing team from Anna. 

It was thrilling. Excruciating. And suspenseful... and in the end, wonderful! I think that's the most excitement this town has seen in quite some time. Great stuff!! 

It was definitely one of those "Hoosiers" moments... 

The crowd grows silent. Everyone is holding their breath. Fingers are crossed. The coach's son is up. This is it people. Last chance. Do or die. He shoots... he SCORES!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! The crowd goes WILD and the Cardinals win, 16-15. 

Now let's be frank. I don't even really CARE that much about basketball, honestly. I don't care if we win or lose. I just want the boys to have a good time, get a little exercise and basically avoid losing any teeth in the ol' ball vs. mouth battle. I don't like the yelling or the aggression. Or the sound of little knees and elbows scraping the floor. I'd rather we all just hold hands and sing "Kumbaya" around the campfire. 

But today, I CARED. Everyone in the gym cared, whether they wanted to or not. 

I've never seen Coach Sparks so animated or happy. He deserved this moment. And how great that HIS boy gave it to him. Way to go Hunter!! And way to go ALL the Cardinal boys today. You guys stayed tough and fought hard and gave the crowd a thrill they won't soon forget. You're all champs tonight!!! And we'll try not to hold it against you that you gave all us old farts a few extra gray hairs in the process. It was well worth it. 

My Rock

Poor John. 

The guy chose me as his life partner and so that means he's got to put up with me... and sometimes, well, I'm sure that's not easy. 

John is my rock. My sanity. He is like my safely anchored buoy in the middle of the stormy sea. Anytime I need to, I can just grab on and hold tight and I know he'll keep me from being washed away. He's good for that. I hope he knows how much I appreciate him. 

I think Fate paired us up pretty nicely. Yes, we're soul mates and best friends and all that good sappy stuff, really. But we're also pretty good yin and yang. Not sure who is yin and who is yang. But we fit together, nicely. 

I'm grateful that John is so calm and cool and collected. Gosh, all that on top of being tall, dark and handsome too. What a catch! Sorry ladies. I saw him first. 

John, thank you for being my rock and my sanity. I'm sorry you have to deal with my neurosis at times, but I'm also really glad you're willing. :) I couldn't live this crazy life without you. And I wouldn't want to anyway... it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

I love you. And I drive you crazy, I know. But still, I love you. Madly. And forever. 

Just Breathe...

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe.

                         - lyrics by Anna Nalik

I'm sitting here with the phone on speaker. I've been on hold for 56 minutes, waiting for someone at the tax offices to answer so I can get my tax forms done. I feel a mini meltdown coming on. I need the carpets cleaned and my taxes done and I'm watching a squirrel pig out on our "squirrel proof" feeder and there are blue lint balls ALL over my house from my new fuzzy pajamas and well, I'm just feeling ick. 

Anytime I start to feel these little heart palpitations (panic attack coming on!) I think of this song and tell myself... just breathe!

So since I'm on hold, I started reading some of my favorite blogs. One is by a woman in Australia who tragically lost her 3-year-old daughter two years ago to a freak accident. Part of me wishes I'd never stumbled upon this blog because to read it just absolutely rips my heart into shreds. I cry and cry and cry while I read it. Every time. And yet it so incredibly and lovingly and honestly written that I cannot stay away. I learn so much from it and I go there when I need a good cry and when I need to be reminded to not sweat the small stuff. 

Only right now I'm sitting here with a red, runny nose after my good cry, not feeling too much better, and wanting to go take my kids out of school so I can just hug them and tell them I love them. 

I cannot imagine a day without my children. I love them so intensely it's almost frightening. 

So now, instead of having a nervous breakdown over silly stuff like taxes and carpet and fuzz balls, I'm just thinking of my sweet children and the things they do that make me smile. This picture of Jasper makes me grin. He's such a good kid. I love that he loves to read, just like his Daddy. I love that when he's reading, you cannot get his attention for the life of you, just like his Daddy. I love that he still wants to sneak into my bed in the wee hours of the night. 

I just love my kids to bits and pieces. 

Anyway, if you'd like to read the blog I mentioned, email me and I'll send you a link. 

Hope you're all having a good day... and if you're not, well, just breathe...

In Case You've Forgotten...

It *is* still winter. 

Hard to believe sometimes here in Texas. Two days ago John and I went for a walk with the dog wearing shorts and t-shirts! It was 78 degrees and the birds were singing and I said to him, "I feel like we should be getting the Easter baskets ready!"

But today, Old Man Winter wanted to remind us that he is still around for a while. 

How's about a little ice storm to refresh your memory? Works for me! Brr! 

The high today is only supposed to be 33 degrees... and then of course we'll be back up to 74 by Friday! 

Kathryn decided to be the hero and take Roxie for a walk this morning and she came back with the coolest frozen treasure. :)

We've Come a Long Way Baby...

Ha... you're gonna love this one! But of course, I have to lead up to it... 

I've been a Big Mean Cleaning Machine this week... and I LOVE it! Feels SO good to freshen up everything, get rid of junk, junk, piles and more junk, and get all my ducks back in a row. 

John's also been doing some cleaning out this week... including his hotmail account inbox. Every now and then he sends me some Blast from the Past. Like today. He had saved this message ALL the way from 2001! 

I read this and cannot believe it's the SAME Kathryn I'm talking about. The Kathryn that is now so darling and wonderful and helpful!! Just yesterday, Kathryn and I had a GREAT day together. She slept in, was great company on our little girls' only shopping trip, helped prep dinner and made Julia Child's hollandaise ALL by herself (still blows my mind), took out the recycling, helped with dishes, tickled my back during Family Movie Night and was just delightful all day!!! 

Gosh, I guess I'm glad I decided not to throw her out with the bath water back then! HA HA HA. 

Oh Kathryn honey, I still loved you even when you were so difficult, but I have to say I'm glad we all survived those rough years. Sometimes it's good for me to read something like this (a venting email to some girlfriends at the time) to just remember. It wasn't easy! 

But look how far we've come! I love ya kid! 

October 25, 2001 

- Side note: Kathryn was 3 years old and Jasper was 3 months old. John had just started at SWA and was ALWAYS gone and I obviously had my hands FULL! Oh, and NO friends and NO family to help since we'd just moved to Modesto and I didn't know a soul in town!! Ah, good times. 

I'm thinking of putting my kids up for sale. Yesterday was the worst day of my adult life. Kathryn is out of control. She's wild and hyper and won't listen to anything. She's a terror. Yesterday was a constant battle. She poured out a whole brand new bottle of bubbles in the tub, ran over the dogs with her bike, chewed on her new book, ran off in the store, fought me getting into the carseat and then kicked off her shoes before going into the store, got mud ALL OVER the patio and the dogs and ran inside onto the carpet with mud caked feet, threw her pizza on the ground and said it was gross, screamed every time I was on the phone with a landscaper or preschool director, dumped out the dog water in the garage, constantly pitched screaming fits and woke up the baby from naps, touched the baby too hard, refused to stay in her room during a time out... and all this happened before NOON! It's really starting to depress me. I keep thinking, "Oh, we're just having a rotten day" but then the next day is the same. I never thought it would be like this. Kathryn was the sweetest, most loving, adorable and well-mannered toddler. I'm just very sad about all of it. What happened!?

Jasper was even a little toot yesterday. Screamed all bloody day long. Have NO CLUE what his problem was. He's started this new thing where he refuses to take a nap (oh joy). When we lay down so I can nurse him, he'll arch his back away from me and grunt and growl. But he's miserable... rubbing his eyes and crying. Won't take a bottle, won't take a binki, doesn't much like solid foods (will ONLY tolerate cereal and that's like trying to shove toothpaste back into the tube with a spoon)... have tried walking with him, the stroller, rocking, singing, swaddling, car rides, tummy massage, baths, new toys, Tylenol, Anbesol... OH GOD HELP ME! I don't know how I'm going to survive this!!!