Big.

Hello from San Diego. I'm a very tired and grumpy girl, taking a break in the hotel room before we go back to the in-laws' for dinner. 4:30 came very early this morning and then I sat in front of THE MOST ANNOYING WOMAN ever in the history of the world on the airplane... it was so excruciating that I was actually praying the plane would crash and put me out of my misery. But anyway, I digress... 

I was sitting on the airplane this morning, watching Jasper play his video game. He does this funny thing with his feet while he plays. They're constantly moving. Like if he's running in the game, his feet are moving as though he's really running in real life. It's pretty funny. So I'm zoning out, staring at his feet, when something hits me like a huge brick in the face. 

Jasper is big. 

Really big. 

I'm looking at his new shiny back-to-school tennis shoes and I'm wondering how it's possible that they fit his feet. Surely they must be three sizes too big? I mean, come on, MY **baby** does not have feet THAT big!!?? How is that even possible? 

This is the kid that I carried on my hip for four years. The baby that was so soft and snuggly that he'd melt against my body so perfectly that it felt at times as though he might flow back into my body. He was tiny and chubby and angelic. He was NOT big. 

Where did he go?? When did I miss it? When did my little baby cross over into Big Kid Kingdom? 

Wow. 

I think it's harder watching your youngest, and last child get big, don't you think? Cause you know there will be no more toddlers in the house. And so you start to imagine your world when there are no more skinny sticky arms wrapped around your neck............ sigh. 

I'm not ready. Can't we slow down? Just for a bit? 

Wow. Big. Still trying to wrap my head around it.