Blooming and Blossoming...

I was struck yesterday with a lovely notion... and was delighted my daughter was in the mood to play along... 

I was looking out the kitchen window at the GLORIOUS HUGE cherry blossom tree that has just absolutely EXPLODED with color this week (It's outrageously beautiful and so very pink!) when Kathryn came walking in the room, dressed in a pink tank top, looking every bit as lovely as that tree. It struck me right then that I MUST have a photo of her next to the tree! She said she'd oblige (Yay! Sometimes she is NOT in the mood for me and my camera.) and so out we went, and I adore the result. :) 

I was feeling quite overwhelmed taking these photos, looking at all the budding and blooming and blossoming going on... and I'm not talking about the tree. 

Kathryn is growing up, so quickly, right before my eyes... and I love the young woman she is becoming, even though it pains me sometimes to know that my little girl won't be little much longer. 

I told her today in the car that I really really LIKE her. I just do. She looked at me a bit funny and I tried to explain that even if she wasn't MY kid, I'd still like her. She is a great companion and I think it's cool how we have children and then end up with a new friend. A buddy. Someone to hang out with and chit chat with on drives in the car. She's fun. I like being near her. I like who she is and who she is becoming. She makes me proud. She makes me giggle and sometimes looking at her makes me end up with a lump in my throat. 

I love being surrounded by all this pink blossoming beauty. 

My Little Lovelies

Are you kidding me? Have you ever seen anything so hysterical? Oh my gosh, the kids were like pee-in-your-pants funny yesterday during our silly little photo shoot. We got this whole grand idea for their Valentine's Day cards this year (they're giving away Nerds candy) so of course we needed photos for the project. 

I absolutely positively LOVE that they were both so willing to poke fun at themselves! What a great thing to be able to do. Most of us spend a lifetime being way too insecure to be so bold and self-effacing. 

They're a hoot and I'll be their valentine ANY time! 

Why I love My Girls... (Warning! Feeling sappy today!)

My Mom. My Mom will always be my #1 Girl. My Mom is amazing. Always has been. When I was a kid, I poured an entire bottle of Palmolive on the hardwood floors, so I could "ice skate." My Mom didn't even get mad at me, despite the fact it took her about four hours to clean the floors. That's cause she's my Mom. I love my Mom. I know I drive her crazy because I call her almost every day (okay, sometimes twice a day), but I think she's always glad to hear my voice. Having a mom like my Mom made me want to BE a mom. :) IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou Mom!!!!

Kathryn. I see a little of myself and my husband in my daughter, but the rest is all her. Very much her. She is funny and witty and smart and kind and beautiful and serious and sentimental and talented and all that wonderful stuff all wrapped up in one amazing package. Too much to say about a girl I love more than life. Would take 18,002 blogs to truly explain my feelings for this Girl. 

Gillian. My dear, dear, wonderful faithful friend. We email each other sometimes up to 20 times a day. I'm not even kidding. I swear it. We tell each other EVERYTHING. And I do mean EVERYTHING! LOL! I don't like days without her. We support each other and congratulate each other for things we know are important to us... but no one else seems to care about (like when we clean out our closets!!). We are each other's #1 cheerleaders and biggest fans. Sometimes I think we even fill that space we wish our husbands would fill, but don't. You know that space? Even though she's all the way up there in freezing cold Canada, I still feel closer and more connected to her than even my closest neighbors. She's so good for me too... a very good influence because she's a passionate Christian and she doesn't even cuss. I love her. A lot. 

Renee. My lovely, wonderful, hysterical Renee. She "gets" me. She's like the sister I never had, but always wanted. She makes me feel good, all warm and fuzzy. It's hard to explain, but she just does. That's one of the biggest compliments I can give. I could never get tired of just hanging out with her and talking to her. She's a great listener and makes a mean fondue... she gives me those Sunset magazine backyard moments we all want to have... wine and candles and good food and conversation. She even puts real vanilla beans in her sugar. Who does that? She does! I miss miss miss miss her. Every day. She's one of the few things that made it hard for me to leave California!!

Terri. Terri is unlike anyone else I've ever met. She is the busiest woman I know. She is also the most dedicated mother I know. She loves her children (even the four-leggedones!) to death and would (and does) do anything for them. They are lucky to have her. She is truly the most unselfish person I've ever met... almost to a fault though. We all want her to learn to take care of herself as well as she takes care of everyone else around her! 

Jodie. Jodie is the neighbor and friend I always wish I'd taken more time to get to know. But all those times we stood in the cul-de-sac chatting in between grocery shopping and carpooling and exercising were fabulous. Jodie is simply all around good stuff. That woman is inspiring. She has THE COOLEST house and THE COOLEST three kids and she is A-MA-ZING the way she keeps it all together. She's quite hip too and makes it all look very easy. I wish more families could be like hers. It would be a much better world if they could. 

Heidi. Heidi saved me in Washington. I wonder if she ever knew that. During some of my most difficult years, in a new state, with no family and John overseas, Heidi was my salvation. She taught me to get out and still have fun, even in the rain and even when my heart was ripping in half because I was missing John so fiercely. She got me off my ass and onto a tandem bike and even convinced me to eat Tofurkey and to CLIMB the face of a snowy mountain and then ski down (Ski to Sea race!). She taught me how to love brownies and coffee and life and friendship. She taught me that dogs deserve to be walked, yes, again, even in the rain. She taught me that it's really okay if your shoes get muddy. REALLY muddy. She is passionate about her family and food and health and education and students and reading and Earth and politics and dogs and I just think the world of her. Everyone needs a friend like Heidi, but sadly, very few people are fortunate enough to have one. I'm glad I do. :) I miss sitting on the front porch step, drinking banana smoothies with her. 

Anne. My sister in law. How did I get to be so lucky to choose a husband that came with such a wonderful perk?! Anne, all I can say about you is that I love and adore and trust you so much that YOU are the person I want to be my childrens' mother if I ever die. I would hand them over to you with a happy heart. I think the world of you and just love you to pieces. I am so glad to have a sister like you! You rock. Need I say more?

Okay, this is really fun. :) But my problem (HARDLY a problem!!!) is that I have too many Girls to love right now and I don't want you guys to lose interest and quit reading... so I'll stop here for today. Oh, and please know I'm not listing you in any particular order! LOL! But really... Holly, Tiffany, Deb, Buffi, Ginny, Leanna, Kate... and more... you're next! 

By the way, I don't even know if you all read this stuff, and it doesn't really matter... just feels good to get some of this down on cyber paper. :) 

I LOVE YOU GIRLS!

Stressing over Strawberries & Drawing a Blank...

Okay, that's a weird title, but I'm in a weird mood, so deal with it. ;) 

I'm sitting here right now, in my fuzzy yellow ducky pajamas (it's true, I knew you wouldn't believe me, so there's the picture to prove it), sipping luke warm coffee, trying to get inspired. But all I'm getting is discouraged and whiny. I'm staring at a blank blog template, not knowing what to write about today... and here's what I'm thinking (my Mom and John have heard me complain about this more times than they can count on their fingers and toes, but here it goes again):

I want to be REALLYREALLYREALLY good at something. ANYTHING (I'm not picky!). But something. 

This morning I started my day by catching up on blog reading. I love to read other people's blogs. And then I get bummed cause I don't write as well as they do. I'm not nearly as funny. 

Darnit.

So then I decide to flip through the latest Pottery Barn catalogue that's been sittin' here collecting dust for weeks. By page 12 I'm totally depressed that NO room in my house looks even NEAR that amazing. And while I *do* realize NO ONE truly lives that way, I still want my house to look like it! Is that so wrong? 

Darnit. 

Okay, then I decide to browse through some of my favorite photography websites... big mistake. There is INSANE talent out there folks.

Double darnit. 

Hmmm. Ooooh, I know... how 'bout I look through this gardening magazine so I'll know what I should be doing in my garden this month. ACK... crapcrapcrap... look at page 28... why do they make growing strawberries look SO. PLAIN. EASY?! It's not people. I've tried. More than once. But right there, on page 28, there's a hand, overflowing with ripe, luscious, perfect, gorgeous, juicy strawberries. ACK!

Alright Stacy, forget all that... let's just go do some shopping on Etsy cause maybe a new cute necklace would cheer you up... hmmm, maybe something funky and small and silver on a leather cord... oh wow, ohhhhhhhkay... look at all these people oozing with creativity!!!!!!!!!

SCREAM!

Where oh where is MY creativity?? Oh where oh where can it be? 

See, this is my problem. I get in these moods where I just wish I were someone else. Well, not totally... I don't want their life or kids or husband or pets or bills or problems or in-laws or hair... I just want their creativity! I want to suck it out of them and drink it up for myself. I want to CREATE. And I want to do something TOTALLY ORIGINAL... but WHAT? 

So now I'm mad at myself now for being so whiny. I don't want to be whiny. I want to be a FABULOUS writer or photographer or gardener or interior decorator or chef or figure skater or musician or SOMETHING. 

Anything... as long as I'm totally fabulous at it!

I try to convince myself to take a step back and realize I'm actually doing okay because I do think I'm a little good at a lot of things, so that's gotta count for something, right? I mean, I'm a pretty decent photographer, I've got lots of thriving houseplants (even if I can't grow a strawberry to save my life... oh wait, that's not true... we got ONE edible one last year!!!! LOL!), my house is plain, but pretty, and I'm crafty enough to help the kids make a killer diorama. What else? Oh, my blog's got a fairly impressive following of readers, so it can't be all that bad... 

But I still have this annoying nagging sensation that it's just not good enough. I want MORE. I want fabulous!

I have to believe that SOMEDAY I'll figure it out. It's probably in there somewhere, I just haven't tapped into it quite yet. I gotta go stand out there like Ben Franklin with his lightening rod and be bold and patient and confident (and a little bit crazy) and hope it will just HIT me, just like that... and then I'll know. And then I can just get on with it. 

Someday.

Day Two. Enough Already!

Seriously people, HOW DO YOU DO IT? Those of you who live in really cold places... WHY? Cold is for penguins. And popsicles. And beer. Igloos, sure. Not people. 

It's another frozen day here... and yeah, it's pretty to look at, through the window, but geez Louise, do I really have to go OUT there? Unless I'm skiing, I just pretty much don't like to be cold. My blood is in shock. I'm ready for some good ol' Texas HOT weather baby! Bring it on! 

And those of you who live in those absurdly cold places... feel free to come visit any time you feel the need to thaw out a bit. 

Have a great day and stay warm! 

Got ice?

We do! Lots of it too!
The trees are happy to finally be shedding their heavy burden as the ice is beginning to melt. It's quite beautiful outside, albeit still extremely cold, wet and slushy. 

It looks as if there are a million diamonds falling from the trees right now... from trees with branches that seem to be made of glass, shining brightly in the sun. Beautiful. If I thought I could do the landscape justice with my camera, and truly capture it, I'd venture back outside, but I am not sure if photos would reflect the true beauty, so I'm choosing to stay in, stay warm and enjoy the scene through the window. I think my dog shares my sentiment. 

Slow News Day...

Ahhh, another day where I just can't seem to think of something to blog about, althouth I have a few ideas brewing.

So on this slow news day, I'll post some snapshots I took of Jasper and Roxie a few moments ago, just to let you know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. We were attempting a shot of the two of them together, but anytime Jasper would get near Roxie, she'd go on Hyper Lick Mode. She can't help herself. That girl loves to lick people. Big slobbery wet licks right on the kisser... that's her favorite attack. :) It makes Jasper giggle like mad, and Roxie KNOWS this and loves it. 

Just a Spoon Full of Sugar, Please.

Cover your eyes Anne Shirley. You don't want to see this! It could get ugly. 

May I ask, when did our nation get to be so dang rude? I mean, seriously... some people are JUST SO RUDE. 

Lately my daughter and I have been watching some old timey TV series... like "Little House on the Prairie," "Anne of Green Gables," and "The House of Elliot," a fantastic BBC production about a quirky photographer and two sisters trying to launch their own fashion house in London. 

I love shows set in the late 1800s and early 1900s. They seems so fanciful and dreamy and romantic and I always tell John I think I would've loved to have lived during this time period... until he reminds me I'd have to give up my beloved laptop, iPod, scalding-hot showers, electric blanket, Photoshop, and the list goes on. Hmmm. On second thought... 

But really, what I mean is I just ADORE how people used to treat each other and talk to one another. People were just more proper. They were concerned about manners and appearances and reputations. It was simply unacceptable to use foul language or to talk back to your elders. Women acted like ladies and men acted like gentlemen. Kids in classrooms respected and feared their teachers. Kids said "Yes Ma'am" to their mothers. People had tea together. And boys certainly did not run around with their pants barely hanging on and underwear sticking out. 

Now please don't get me wrong. I'm far from perfect and I'm not saying I'm all high and mighty in the manners and etiquette departments. I am certainly no Pollyanna or Emily Post and my mother in law still cringes because I have to concentrate very hard to remember how to properly set a table. But I do so desperately wish we could get BACK to the way things were... just a little. 

Even my best friend in Canada teases us Americans. For example, if we don't understand someone, we yell back, "What?!" But in Canada, they say, "Pardon?" See... simple nuances. 

I just wish more gentlemen would still open doors for women weighted down with hands full of groceries and dozing toddlers. I wish people wouldn't have intimate cell phone conversations in the grocery store line. I wish more kids would say "Yes, please" and "No, thank you" (two things I started teaching my children in the womb). I wish (Oh how I wish!) more people would chew with their mouths closed. I wish teenagers wouldn't be allowed to text or play DS at the table in a nice restaurant. And when did it become a crime to say hello to passersby on the street? 

We need Mary Poppins to come work a little magic on us! 

All it takes is courtesy and perhaps a smile people. Are we all so busy and grouchy and stressed that we can't even smile and wave at each other anymore? 

Okay, so granted, I probably wouldn't enjoy wearing a proper dress (No jeans?! The horror!) every single day and I certainly don't want to have to go down to the creek to wash that dress... but can't we all just try to act a teensy bit old fashioned and put a little effort back into being polite and proper and respectful? Our children are watching us and they're taking notes...

Yes, I daresay we could all stand an extra dose of nice these days. Don't you?  

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

Remember Sally Fields accepting her Oscar for best actress in "Places in the Heart?" That's what she said... "You like me, you really like me!" Ha. Love that! 

That's how I feel when I look at my blog following. A little shocked, and a little giddy. Gosh, it's truly humbling. 

I never thought anyone would really care about my blog. I pretty much do it for myself... a little creative outlet, not as serious as a diary, but simply a place to put down some random thoughts that are constantly knocking around inside my head. 

But wow... I want to thank all of you for reading! Makes me feel great. Here's a map of my followers... you know who you are... THANK YOU! You guys just keep stroking my ego and I'll just keep blogging!! Deal? 

(Double click on map to enlarge and see if you can find yourself!!)

A Story, by Jasper, age 7

Once upon a time, a farmer taught his ducks how to dance. 

Now he hears "tip tap, click clack!" just about every second. 

So he taught them how to juggle. 

Now he hears "crash bam, bang wham!" just about every second. 

So he taught them how to write. 

Now he hears "scritch scratch, crumble crumble" just about every second. 

So he taught them how to be quiet. 

Now he is happy. 

Oh. Dear. God. Dread Thirteen.

I'm not entirely sure, but I think I had a mini heart attack this morning. 

Okay, so maybe that's an exaggeration, but I do know SOMETHING unpleasant happened inside me. 

Here's the deal. I decided yesterday to send an email to my 13-year-old niece. She's a great, smart, funny kid with a bubbly personality. She has no brothers or sisters, so I have always tried to make an effort to be close to her... to be that cool aunt she could always come to in a crisis or to share secrets with or to take her to get her ears pierced when Mom said no. You know. We all need an aunt like that. 

So back to the email. I realize kids these days don't talk on the phone. They text and email. I'm fine with that. Whatever. So I email her. 

This morning I woke up to find a reply in my inbox. I was excited, especially seeing it was a long reply! YAY... COMMUNICATION! 

Upon reading the first two paragraphs, however, my heart started to feel queer inside my chest. Was I having a heart attack? Or maybe just a panic attack? Oh God. What's happening? 

My mom always tells me to "DREAD 13." Kinda her catch phrase these days. And my niece is a GOOD teenager... doesn't cause trouble, makes straight As, plays the flute... but she's STILL a teenager and well, we all know, teenagers are weird! 

Sorry, back to this email again... in this day and age where all kids do is text back and forth all day for hours on end, it's "cool" (oh, I'm sorry, I should say "kul") to use their version of shorthand (kwim? LOL!) and NO punctuation or capitalization... and I "get" that. Again, whatever. Just trying to save time.

But what KILLS me is how it's obviously cool to PURPOSEFULLY misspell as many words as possible!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. Ouch... there goes my heart again. 

Please understand, I graduated Magna Cum Laude with a major in Broadcast Journalism and a minor in Communications. I care. I care a lot. About grammar. And punctuation. And NOT ending sentences with a preposition. 

When I'm blogging or emailing or just chatting with friends, I try to loosen up and be casual about it, allowing for some run on sentences, dangling participles and such, but it STILL bothers me... and it's damned near impossible for me to resist correcting people (including my husband who almost ALWAYS gets the use of "I" and "me" backwards!). 

But this latest email was just SO completely disturbing on SO many levels. It's not that it was poorly written with a few careless spelling errors... but that it was DELIBERATELY written poorly! No caps, strange punctuation with little smiley faces throughout and the worst part... the crazy spelling. For example, did you know that in the teenage world itz kul to spell stuff with a "z" anywhere an "s" iz suppozed 2B? LOL. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. My heart can't take it!

It disturbs me because these kids are our FUTURE. They are our future TEACHERS and LEADERS. And parents. And journalists?! 

Scary thought isn't it? 

This isn't even the "big teenager stuff" like dating and sex and drugs and drunk driving. It's just in that petty subcategory alongside wearing too much eyeliner, turning up the music too loud and eye rolling. 

But it also disturbs me because maybe today I feel old... older than I did yesterday. I'm obviously NOT the cool, hip aunt I thought I was. Darnit. I read the Twilight books and saw the movie. I listen to the latest music. I even still wear some jeans with holes in the knees and know how to use iTunes without the manual, but I guess it's not enough.

I tried, but failed. 

Well, for now I'll just have to take solace in the fact that I don't yet have a teenager to call my very own. Lucky me. I still have three years. Thank you God. I'm not ready. I'm reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally not ready. 

And I will TRY to swallow my panic and true feelings about this new writing phenomenon and just at least be happy that my 13-year-old niece is still inherently a good kid and will still even "talk" to me. That's good. It's a start. 

Itz kul, kwim? 

Now THAT is what I call a nail biter!!!

Oh boy. I'm exhausted. 

I bit off three fingernails and got a new gray hair today between 3:08 and 3:12 p.m. 

Why, you ask? Well, does TRIPLE OVERTIME mean anything to you? Ha ha ha!

Yes, the Melissa Cardinals 2nd grade boys' basketball team went into TRIPLE overtime tonight, with a three-time shoot off against the opposing team from Anna. 

It was thrilling. Excruciating. And suspenseful... and in the end, wonderful! I think that's the most excitement this town has seen in quite some time. Great stuff!! 

It was definitely one of those "Hoosiers" moments... 

The crowd grows silent. Everyone is holding their breath. Fingers are crossed. The coach's son is up. This is it people. Last chance. Do or die. He shoots... he SCORES!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! The crowd goes WILD and the Cardinals win, 16-15. 

Now let's be frank. I don't even really CARE that much about basketball, honestly. I don't care if we win or lose. I just want the boys to have a good time, get a little exercise and basically avoid losing any teeth in the ol' ball vs. mouth battle. I don't like the yelling or the aggression. Or the sound of little knees and elbows scraping the floor. I'd rather we all just hold hands and sing "Kumbaya" around the campfire. 

But today, I CARED. Everyone in the gym cared, whether they wanted to or not. 

I've never seen Coach Sparks so animated or happy. He deserved this moment. And how great that HIS boy gave it to him. Way to go Hunter!! And way to go ALL the Cardinal boys today. You guys stayed tough and fought hard and gave the crowd a thrill they won't soon forget. You're all champs tonight!!! And we'll try not to hold it against you that you gave all us old farts a few extra gray hairs in the process. It was well worth it. 

My Rock

Poor John. 

The guy chose me as his life partner and so that means he's got to put up with me... and sometimes, well, I'm sure that's not easy. 

John is my rock. My sanity. He is like my safely anchored buoy in the middle of the stormy sea. Anytime I need to, I can just grab on and hold tight and I know he'll keep me from being washed away. He's good for that. I hope he knows how much I appreciate him. 

I think Fate paired us up pretty nicely. Yes, we're soul mates and best friends and all that good sappy stuff, really. But we're also pretty good yin and yang. Not sure who is yin and who is yang. But we fit together, nicely. 

I'm grateful that John is so calm and cool and collected. Gosh, all that on top of being tall, dark and handsome too. What a catch! Sorry ladies. I saw him first. 

John, thank you for being my rock and my sanity. I'm sorry you have to deal with my neurosis at times, but I'm also really glad you're willing. :) I couldn't live this crazy life without you. And I wouldn't want to anyway... it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

I love you. And I drive you crazy, I know. But still, I love you. Madly. And forever. 

Just Breathe...

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe.

                         - lyrics by Anna Nalik

I'm sitting here with the phone on speaker. I've been on hold for 56 minutes, waiting for someone at the tax offices to answer so I can get my tax forms done. I feel a mini meltdown coming on. I need the carpets cleaned and my taxes done and I'm watching a squirrel pig out on our "squirrel proof" feeder and there are blue lint balls ALL over my house from my new fuzzy pajamas and well, I'm just feeling ick. 

Anytime I start to feel these little heart palpitations (panic attack coming on!) I think of this song and tell myself... just breathe!

So since I'm on hold, I started reading some of my favorite blogs. One is by a woman in Australia who tragically lost her 3-year-old daughter two years ago to a freak accident. Part of me wishes I'd never stumbled upon this blog because to read it just absolutely rips my heart into shreds. I cry and cry and cry while I read it. Every time. And yet it so incredibly and lovingly and honestly written that I cannot stay away. I learn so much from it and I go there when I need a good cry and when I need to be reminded to not sweat the small stuff. 

Only right now I'm sitting here with a red, runny nose after my good cry, not feeling too much better, and wanting to go take my kids out of school so I can just hug them and tell them I love them. 

I cannot imagine a day without my children. I love them so intensely it's almost frightening. 

So now, instead of having a nervous breakdown over silly stuff like taxes and carpet and fuzz balls, I'm just thinking of my sweet children and the things they do that make me smile. This picture of Jasper makes me grin. He's such a good kid. I love that he loves to read, just like his Daddy. I love that when he's reading, you cannot get his attention for the life of you, just like his Daddy. I love that he still wants to sneak into my bed in the wee hours of the night. 

I just love my kids to bits and pieces. 

Anyway, if you'd like to read the blog I mentioned, email me and I'll send you a link. 

Hope you're all having a good day... and if you're not, well, just breathe...

In Case You've Forgotten...

It *is* still winter. 

Hard to believe sometimes here in Texas. Two days ago John and I went for a walk with the dog wearing shorts and t-shirts! It was 78 degrees and the birds were singing and I said to him, "I feel like we should be getting the Easter baskets ready!"

But today, Old Man Winter wanted to remind us that he is still around for a while. 

How's about a little ice storm to refresh your memory? Works for me! Brr! 

The high today is only supposed to be 33 degrees... and then of course we'll be back up to 74 by Friday! 

Kathryn decided to be the hero and take Roxie for a walk this morning and she came back with the coolest frozen treasure. :)

We've Come a Long Way Baby...

Ha... you're gonna love this one! But of course, I have to lead up to it... 

I've been a Big Mean Cleaning Machine this week... and I LOVE it! Feels SO good to freshen up everything, get rid of junk, junk, piles and more junk, and get all my ducks back in a row. 

John's also been doing some cleaning out this week... including his hotmail account inbox. Every now and then he sends me some Blast from the Past. Like today. He had saved this message ALL the way from 2001! 

I read this and cannot believe it's the SAME Kathryn I'm talking about. The Kathryn that is now so darling and wonderful and helpful!! Just yesterday, Kathryn and I had a GREAT day together. She slept in, was great company on our little girls' only shopping trip, helped prep dinner and made Julia Child's hollandaise ALL by herself (still blows my mind), took out the recycling, helped with dishes, tickled my back during Family Movie Night and was just delightful all day!!! 

Gosh, I guess I'm glad I decided not to throw her out with the bath water back then! HA HA HA. 

Oh Kathryn honey, I still loved you even when you were so difficult, but I have to say I'm glad we all survived those rough years. Sometimes it's good for me to read something like this (a venting email to some girlfriends at the time) to just remember. It wasn't easy! 

But look how far we've come! I love ya kid! 

October 25, 2001 

- Side note: Kathryn was 3 years old and Jasper was 3 months old. John had just started at SWA and was ALWAYS gone and I obviously had my hands FULL! Oh, and NO friends and NO family to help since we'd just moved to Modesto and I didn't know a soul in town!! Ah, good times. 

I'm thinking of putting my kids up for sale. Yesterday was the worst day of my adult life. Kathryn is out of control. She's wild and hyper and won't listen to anything. She's a terror. Yesterday was a constant battle. She poured out a whole brand new bottle of bubbles in the tub, ran over the dogs with her bike, chewed on her new book, ran off in the store, fought me getting into the carseat and then kicked off her shoes before going into the store, got mud ALL OVER the patio and the dogs and ran inside onto the carpet with mud caked feet, threw her pizza on the ground and said it was gross, screamed every time I was on the phone with a landscaper or preschool director, dumped out the dog water in the garage, constantly pitched screaming fits and woke up the baby from naps, touched the baby too hard, refused to stay in her room during a time out... and all this happened before NOON! It's really starting to depress me. I keep thinking, "Oh, we're just having a rotten day" but then the next day is the same. I never thought it would be like this. Kathryn was the sweetest, most loving, adorable and well-mannered toddler. I'm just very sad about all of it. What happened!?

Jasper was even a little toot yesterday. Screamed all bloody day long. Have NO CLUE what his problem was. He's started this new thing where he refuses to take a nap (oh joy). When we lay down so I can nurse him, he'll arch his back away from me and grunt and growl. But he's miserable... rubbing his eyes and crying. Won't take a bottle, won't take a binki, doesn't much like solid foods (will ONLY tolerate cereal and that's like trying to shove toothpaste back into the tube with a spoon)... have tried walking with him, the stroller, rocking, singing, swaddling, car rides, tummy massage, baths, new toys, Tylenol, Anbesol... OH GOD HELP ME! I don't know how I'm going to survive this!!!

Out with the Old, In with the New...

A new year is always fun, don't you think? The promise of so many new adventures to come... and memories to make. A fresh start. Clean slate. 

Looking back on 2008, I just cannot believe what a fabulous year we had. We are so incredibly blessed!!

Some of the highlights... we went to Kauai with John's family, went on a Caribbean cruise with my family, sent both kids to summer camp at LLYC, taught the kids to waterski, went skydiving (and lived to tell about it!), spent Thanksgiving with friends and family at the pub and then had a perfect Christmas surrounded by loved ones here at home... um, hello, it just doesn't get much better than that my friends!! 

Hard to believe Kathryn turned 1o this year. Wow. A decade. She's growing up so fast. Too fast. She got to go to Science Camp with the 5th grade, was a cheerleader during football season and is now playing basketball. Kathryn and I had a fun Girls Only trip and went back to California to visit all of our friends there. Yes, I think she had a good year. 

Jasper also continues to delight us daily. He's really coming in to his own. He's funny and smart, just like his Dad... and of course, good lookin', like me. ;) I know he had a good year because, well, that's just how he is. Always happy. No matter what. Lucky kid. 

And John... ahhh yes, well, big year for him since he finally got the ginormous TV of his boyhood dreams!! LOL! He's also really enjoying his incredible work schedule that comes with seniority. Life is good. 

And me. Gosh, really, what more could I possibly as for? Nothing. Not a single thing. Except maybe world peace. I adore my children beyond words and my husband is still my very bestest friend in the whole wide world. He makes me laugh daily and can still make my toes curl. He's still even the most handsome guy I know, although Jasper is working very hard to play catch up in that department. Heck, even my dog is the way coolest and cutest dog there is... so yes, I am a happy, happy girl. I also love how my relationship with my parents continues to grow. I have totally hip and fun parents (even though my 13-year-old niece would NOT agree! LOL!) and LOVE that I can honestly call them great, great friends.

I'm looking forward to 2009. It's going to be another fantabulous year for us. We will be going back to Kauai in March and then John and I get to go do a BIG grown up trip to Ireland this summer while the kids are in camp. We're also very much anticipating the birth of our first nephew in April! Cannot WAIT to meet him!! Oh, and let's not forget John will be celebrating the big 4-0 in July! Whoa ho! :) 

But unfortunately, most years do not pass without some sadness. Just this month, there have been two tragic deaths near us. One of Kathryn's friends, Stephany, was killed in a car accident on December 16. She was only 11 years old. The whole community has been torn apart by this incredibly tragic loss. She was a sweet, sweet girl. 

Another friend, one of the Cub Scout leaders, gave birth to a baby girl, Shelby, on December 10. Sadly, Shelby was born into the world much too early and did not survive. She passed away on December 23. Bless her little soul. 

I thank God every day for our continued health and pray He keeps us healthy and out of harm's way. 

I also thank all of my dear friends and family for helping make this such a memorable year. I am just filled to the brim with happiness and gratitude and feel like the most blessed friend, daughter, wife and mother in the entire world. 

Happy New Year's Eve everyone!!! Be safe tonight! See you next year! :)

For the Record...

Let's just let it be known that Stacy is still a bad ass. Got that? Good. 

We went to Six Flags over Texas yesterday for a very belated (sorry kid!) birthday celebration for Kathryn. We'd given her tickets WAY back in September and life just got so busy that we didn't have a chance to go. 

Well, yesterday was OUR day and you know what? It was PERFECT. Blue skies, high 60s, very light crowds and three very cool adventuresome kiddos! The longest line we waited in was 20 minutes! Most rides we practically walked on. Oh and the best part... all the holiday lights and music were still going strong... it even "snowed" at night. Super duper fun. 

But let's get back to the part about me, the bad ass. 

Yes, I know I amazed you when I went skydiving a couple months ago... and now I can amaze you again when I tell you that I rode the Titan!!!!!!!! AUGHHHHHH. OH MY GOSH. THE SCARIEST thing I've ever done in my life. WAY worse than skydiving!!! REALLY! 

How intense was it???? So intense that I actually BLACKED OUT for a few seconds on the ride! I am NOT even kidding! Freaked me right out! That has never happened to me before on a rollercoaster! Bwahahahaha! Here's a nice little description from the Internet to back up my point:

Top Speed: 85 mph / 136.7 km/h

The Titan was built by the same Swiss designers that built the Goliath but includes extra twists. It has 5,280 feet of track, allowing for more drops, loops, and corkscrews. After dropping from the 255 foot hill, you are plunged in to a dark tunnel at the speed of 85 miles per hour. Titan includes a spiral that creates forces of up to 4.5gs.

Do you see that people? 4 and a half gs???? Yup. That will SERIOUSLY mess with your head! John agrees that was the biggest thrill he's ever had. A-MA-ZING!

But it wouldn't be fair if I didn't share my bad assness with my daughter, Kathryn... who rode this ride not only once, but TWICE!!! Even after dark! She also earned some major bragging rights!! 

Anyway, great day. Jasper even rode the Shock Wave with us twice... that sucker has TWO full loops!! He is so brave. A 15-year-old kid told him he was super cool. That made his day. 

Fun fun stuff and lots of laughs and great memories! Thanks for sharing your fun birthday day with us Kathryn! And thanks for being so brave!! I'm TOTALLY impressed girl! 

Only 364 more days...

I'm already looking forward to next Christmas! I just love Christmastime. So much joy and laughter and best of all, TOGETHERNESS. 

We had a pretty perfect Christmas day here in the Murphy household. No one cried. No one was lying on the couch, urping between gifts. Mom and I didn't cut ourselves chopping or peeling all day in the kitchen. Roxie was nice to Schnitzel. The ham didn't dry out. The tree was still green, the weather was glorious and everyone seemed to get what they wanted... so gosh, yes, I dare say, it was pretty darned perfect! I hope you all can say the same for your Christmas day!

I have absolutely loved having my family here this week. Truly. I am sad they have to go today, but I understand them wanting to try to beat the mad rush home.

Well gosh... then what to do? A teensy LITTLE part of me wants to join the crazies out there today and grab up some major steals with all the huge sales... but then the more sane (and fortunately more persuasive!) part of me says, nah, skip it. Let those other crazy fools fight it out on the roads and in the stores today. I'm going to STAY HOME in my jammies all day long, drink too much coffee, write some thank you notes, look at my Christmas photos, write in my Christmas journal, watch the kids (John!) play the Wii and eat yummy leftovers. Sounds like a pretty perfect day-after-Christmas day to me. 

*I'll add some Christmas photos later today when I get them downloaded! ;)

Home Again, Home Again...

Gig-a-dee-gig!! And only TWO more days until Christmas!! WHAT FUN!

We had a great time on the cruise... you know how cruises go... eat and drink and play and then eat and drink some more. Lobster bisque, filet mignon, lobster tail, shrimp, escargot, and everyone's favorite... warm chocolate melting cake with vanilla ice cream! YUMMMMMM. Mom even sweet-talked the head chef and got the recipe, but said she's not going to share it with anyone. 

We really all should've been marched straight to the Betty Ford Clinic off the ship... if you know what I mean. Hee hee. I'm sure we killed a few brain cells on this trip. But gosh it was fun! 

The kids both partied until the wee hours of the morning, enjoyed the Kids' Club, snorkeled, swam, turned into prunes in the hot tub, danced, laughed and ate probably two gallons of ice cream each... and that's no exaggeration! 

We stopped in Jamaica, Grand Cayman and Cozumel... went horseback riding and snorkeling, drove beach buggies, and ate and drank some more! LOL! 

Thank you Dad for such a wonderful gift! I love that we share these memories and I'm sure we'll be giggling about our inside jokes for years to come!! 

And now... the BIG countdown has begun!!!!!!!!! Can't WAIT for Christmas morning! So many surprises to come!!!